Camp Cook - The grouchiest person on the planet and the last one you want to offend. Some have been known to use grounded up elk droppings for seasoning if they don't like you.

Camp fire - a device used to heat bacon grease to a temperature hot enough such that it can be combined with cold water, producing entertainment for the kids and a team-building experience for adults as they try to maximize the entertainment. Lighting the campfire itself sometimes serves as good entertainment as well. Also serves as the camp recycle container and television set, and is very useful for choking the camp cook out of the kitchen. Occasionally, you'll find the odd person actually using it's heating abilities to get warm as if they were on a rotisserie. ( You gotta see this grease bomb youtube video to understand this definition.)

Camp furniture - lightweight folding appliances designed for a species other than homo sapiens.

Camp spot - the most likely place for wind velocities to exceed fifty miles per hour, five minute after you have spent 2 hours setting up your camp.

Camp stove - a good excuse to learn how to cook off the fire or in a dutch oven.

Chocolate - a natural anxiety inhibitor for women on camping trips. This should be considered an essential condiment for your chuck box and medicine for your first aid kit. It's also good to keep some in the glove box of you vehicle, shirt pocket and fishing tackle box.

Chuck box - makes a great level in case you forgot one at home. Also good for attracting ornaments to cover every available surface that can have something sitting on it.

Dining Fly- Outdoor camp dinner guest.

Dutch Oven - a camp cooking device used for turning perfectly good food into unrecognizable black char.

Ground Cloth- A tarp for collecting water under your tent's floor thus providing a water bed mattress for your sleeping bag.

Hat- A device that keeps the top of your head from blowing off in springtime weather.

Lantern - a device for singeing the eye brows and eye lashes off anyone closer that 5 feet when it is lit. Uses a convenient fuel that cost 3x the cost of premium gasoline, and mantles or wicks that last for one outing..

LED Camp Light - A convenient, reliable light source that got turned on the last time you packed, which requires a battery size you don't have.

Portapotty - a device for attracting biting flies

Pre-dawn Alarm Clock (usually during inclement weather) - Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom. Did you hear that growling noise? Is something burning? Where's Gabie?

Marshmallow - a soft pure white substance that has spontaneous combustion properties. It is also believed by some to have been one of the early prototypes of gorilla glue as it can fuse the fingers of children together.

Rechargible Tent Battery - A device whose replenishment time rapidly increases to exceed its operation time.

Sleeping bag - an easy to setup camping bed that has the amazing ability to make warm things hot and cold things colder, especially feet. It doubles as a sponge for soaking up water from leaks in your tent. Smores -Graham Cracker or Keebler Short cake cookies stuffed with vulcanized sugar. Most often created by a raging campfire by youngsters that can't keep sticks out of the fire, but can also be consumed by the sneaky housewife preparing the marshmallow over a gas burner on the kitchen stove. (be careful not to burn your lips on the metal fork)

Tent - a portable outdoor home used to protect one from the elements unless it rains, snows, the wind blows, it's cold or hot. It is usually setup with poles. It also has entertainment value doubling as a puzzle. Usually setup after dark using a flashlight with dead or nearly dead batteries. The only thing that you forgot to pack the last time you went camping.

T.P.- Most commonly know as the necessary papers.